You really coming over, don't trick.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My liver just broke up with me...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize