just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
