Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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