i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I love having hate sex.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
