What a fucking waste of an outfit
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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