i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
