And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
