I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
