i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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