the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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