she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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