he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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