First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Watching her eat just hurts me
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
