Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
