I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
