Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
