Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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