That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
