Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
