So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
