I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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