The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
