Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
she peed on how many people?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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