Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
