and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
