come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
