What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
