They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
