did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
