Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
