oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm like, not good at living.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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