Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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