so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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