I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
