rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
