I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
