you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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