drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
