so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
