you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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