today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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