never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize