it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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