take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
