we have pet lesbian snakes
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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