i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
