thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
