You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize