I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We have started to decorate penises.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
