You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
