So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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