I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Let's paint friendship bongs
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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