So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
