Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
