you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
