What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
