I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
