MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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