too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
