i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
