well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
