Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize